Sunday morning started out the usual way. That was probably strike one! I started my day with my usual two cups of coffee and walked into church thinking about the usual order of service and how I was going to lead the choir as well as the congregation into the very presence of God. Problem was, I wasn't walking closely enough myself.
We started the service with "Our God Reigns" declaring "spirit of doubt, you have no place here!" Obviously, the enemy knew that I was spiritually deaf at the time because he attacked hard. I have been questioning "self worth" for a number of reasons. Am I being a good husband and father? Am I providing what my family needs? Should I go and take a "real" job for the sake of "taking a job" or do I continue pursuing what I believe is God's will for me? Often times our worship of an almighty God is determined by our circumstances. I think what happened next was based on the fact that I had failed the very test that I had been learning. I wept.
In the book of Luke (5:17-26) Jesus healed a paralytic that had been brought, through the roof, into the house where He was teaching. Jesus told the paralytic "Because of your faith, you are healed." and told him to get up. At that point, because of his faith in Jesus, he got up. When Jesus said "Get up", those words not only penetrated his ears but resignated within his soul!
I have been so paralyzed by a spirit of doubt and fear that I was useless! I hadn't taken into consideration the fact that, despite a failing economy, we haven't missed a meal, we haven't missed a bill and my family is clothed and fed! Last night, while thinking back to the song we finished Sunday's service with, it struck me. "Give us Clean Hands" kept referencing Jacob so I came home and did a little reading. Genesis 28:20-21 says "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God..."
He will give us exactly what we need according to His will. It may not always be comfortable (just ask John the Baptist!) but the end result is glory. Lift your head up and step out of the boat and onto the water. Just don't take your eyes off of Him. The next time God says to you "Get Up!" what will your response be? As for me, I will.